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2012年10月15日 星期一

[轉載]林丹自傳連載32: 不看好又如何? 我就是喜歡她

中國上海《東方體育日報》10月 15日連載

Part 4: 謝謝你的愛

第18章 愛情保衛戰

  愛情很奇妙,讓人充滿無限的能量。2004年初的瑞士、全英賽我連奪兩站冠軍,坐穩男子單打世界第一。那時我跟阿芳的感情剛剛開始萌芽,媒體稱我們是“神雕俠侶”,更多的是因為我們倆相差3歲的年紀。但“神雕俠侶”不好當,我們走得很艱辛,並不被外界看好。面對澆下來的一盆盆冷水,我並不在乎別人看好或看壞。

  雖然我是天秤座,但算不上優柔寡斷的人。我也有選擇自己生活的權利。說實話,從開始認識這個自己第一眼看到就很喜歡的女孩,一直到談朋友,甚至到現在,很多人都不是很看好我們。包括隊裏的教練、媒體等等。在這樣的環境下,我和阿芳有時也會因為外界的看法而不開心。2004年,我已經是隊中的主力了,教練對我們還是多多少少睜一隻眼閉一隻眼,但也不希望我們表現得太明顯。最重要的原因是,他們根本不看好我們,就隨我們去了。

  也就是從那時起,我開始有了保護阿芳的衝動和責任,保護自己的女朋友也是守護我們的愛情。我們都還很年輕,那時我還不到21歲。但作為一個男人,我有責任為對方遮風擋雨,做女朋友的“保護傘”。這不是寫一封情書或者口頭上說說就有用的,一定要有實際行動。有一次聊天的時候,我跟阿芳說:“你放心,我會用我的成績保護好我們的愛情。”這是我當時唯一能做、也必須這麼做的事。我們的第一個情人節就是在一種即使被全世界拋棄也不放棄對方的心情中度過的。

  這些年來,我也體會到了一些人情冷暖。我看到的中國社會就是這樣,你牛×一點,就沒人敢說你;或者你拳頭狠一點,就沒人敢欺負你。我必須拿出更好的成績,我要成為絕對主力,這樣教練就不可能還把我當小孩一樣訓。這就是中國,很現實。



  2004年5月我們在印尼雅加達出戰湯尤盃的時候,被媒體抓拍到一張照片,後來被誤解成是我在親吻阿芳。實際情況是當天的湯杯決賽,前一天已經拿下尤伯盃的女隊隊友來給我們加油。在我拿下第一分後,我也加入到助威團中。現場的氣氛非常熱烈,也很吵,不少隊友都拿著助威棒站到了椅子上,阿芳也是其中之一。我記得我很興奮地轉身跟她說:“我們就要一起成為世界冠軍了!”因為聽不清,阿芳就俯下身來努力聽我說,於是被誤認為我們是在親吻。

  不過,因為奧運在即,當時的媒體都還算護著我們,沒有在我們的戀情上大做文章,直到我在雅典首輪出局後。輸球的那一晚,我徹夜未眠,在北京的阿芳也陪了我一整夜。也正是她的一條條越洋短信,讓我撐過了最難熬的那段日子。一點也不誇張的是,我發短信把手指都摁腫了。因為有時差的關係,其實阿芳比我更辛苦,因為她幾乎沒怎麼睡,第二天就又要起來訓練了。

  面對媒體的追問,我們並沒有遮遮掩掩。首先,我是一個運動員,我不是藝人,真的不需要那些很虛偽的外衣來包裝自己。職業運動員的首要工作是打出好成績;其次,年輕人談戀愛是再正常不過的事情。那些一被媒體問到就連忙否認“沒有沒有,我們只是朋友”的明星們,不是太假了嗎?你不想讓別人知道你在戀愛,是出於什麼目的呢?想保護你的另一半,還是自私呢?我覺得是太把自己當回事了。

  每個人都有自己的生活方式,可我們常常會被迫在別人的規劃下生活。他們會告訴我“你這麼做更好”“你找個那樣的才好啊,傻瓜”。在中國,更是有“不聽老人言,吃虧在眼前”這樣的古訓。

  這麼多年來,我時常有種感覺,就是周圍的人似乎還沒學會承認別人的好,也不懂得讚美和祝福別人。相反,越是看到別人過得不好,越是願意去同情他。甚至可能是以匪夷所思的大方去幫助別人,哪怕自己家裏都揭不開鍋了,也要分給別人一口吃的。但是一旦看到別人過得比他好,心裏就不樂意了。

  無論是愛情、工作還是生活方式,都不需要和別人比較,自己喜歡就好。有的人可以每天喝幾千甚至幾萬元一瓶的紅酒,他有這個能力去喝,但這並不代表你和你的朋友喝幾塊錢一瓶的啤酒,就不比他開心。這只是選擇的不同而已。

  有時候,內心的安定和滿足遠比物質帶給你的安全感要來得強烈。在你追求財富、權力的同時,相應地也需要付出得更多,而犧牲掉的是你和家人、朋友相處的時間。最終有一天,你也許得到了很多,但也許會失去得更多。我們並不能簡單地認為有些人是滿足於現狀,他們也許是知足常樂。珍惜現在所擁有的,反而活得自在、快樂。

  年輕人就是要堅持自己想做的事情。即使有一天受傷了,付出了慘痛的代價,那也至少是我自己的選擇。永遠讓別人規劃你的生活,父母告訴你去英國留學吧,回來再去一家世界500強企業,或者通過全家的關係讓你去做公務員,然而這些可能都不是你想要的。人這一輩子,能夠做自己喜歡做的事情真的很難得。 堅持自己的理想吧,也許會失敗,但也不枉這輩子有過一次這麼堅持自我、義無反顧地做一件事的經歷。生活永遠被人安排好了,你不覺得這樣很沒意思嗎?有時候,成功只是因為你多堅持了一下。

  也許我的性格中是帶著點“好萊塢式”英雄主義的。邁出了第一步,面對未知時一定是有風險的。也許結局會很慘,但因為年輕,就什麼都不怕。還有一種可能就是,收穫的結局比想像中的還要美。

  如今29歲的我,慶幸21歲時的林丹有這份勇氣、執著和擔當。而在當時,我只有一個念頭——不被看好就不被看好,我就是喜歡她。

 新聞網址:http://sports.sohu.com/20121015/n354864745.shtml

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